Sta.sh
“Dude, yeah. It’s gonna be awesome!” America said, lacing up his boots.
“Not as awesome as the great Prussia!” Prussia shouted as Canada rolled his eyes and held Prussia’s hand.
“Oh, this is going to be fun HONHONHON!” Said a certain French pervert we all know and love.
“France is on the blue team!” Britain shouted, calling dibs on the red team and anything to keep away from the Frenchman.
“Da. And Switzerland.” Russia spoke up, calling dibs on the blue team, because France was his ally and Switzerland had the best aim. “Lithuania must be on the red tea, I want to see him fall to the ground with tears in his eyes!”
At this, Lithuania cowered while Switzerland announced that he was neutral and was on his own team, damn it!
“America, honestly. This is never going to work.” Britain said, sighing.
“I’ve got an idea.” America said, leaving the locker room for a moment and returning with an empty McDonalds bag, which he handed to Britain as he said to draw one. Britain reluctantly stuck his hand in the bag and pulled it out a moment later, holding a piece of folded paper.
“It says green.” Britain said dully as he unfolded it.
“Here, take this.” America said, handing him a green bandana, “Britain is on green team! If you draw green, you’re with him!”
The other countries caught on as they passed the McDonalds bag around and they separated into the four teams; red, blue, green, and yellow. Red team consisted of America, Switzerland, China, and Sweden. Blue team was Russia, Japan, Finland, and Romano. Green team was Germany, Britain, Poland, and Italy. And, last but not least,
Of course, every team was complaining of something, be it Switzerland and his neutrality, Romano in a group with none of his friends, Poland not being on a team with “Lithy”, or even Prussia and France complaining that they were missing one member of the Bad Touch Trio.
Eventually, America and Germany couldn’t stand it.
“EVERYBODY SHUT UP!” Germany shouted, and everyone did as they were told, even it they didn’t want to.
“Dudes, it’s just paintball!” America said, “The teams were picked at random! At least random to us, anyway. It may not be random to some outside-force that happens to be writing this pointless comedy!”
Someone coughed “Germerica is cannon!” as America passed out paintball guns and paintballs according to the teams, and he chose to ignore the comment.
“So, let’s break off into our teams and form our plans of action!” America said as everyone looked over their weapons.
“America, you could at least tell us the rules.” Britain said dully, looking at his paintball gun.
“Oh, if you get shot by anyone’s paintball you die. Or something like that. We can wing it!”
“Very descriptive.” Britain said, annoyed.
“Oh, I can be descriptive, HONHONHON!” France said, because we all love what a pervert he is. Admit it, you know you do!
“That is not what I meant!” Britain said, turning red.
“Dudes, wait and take it out on each other when the match starts!” America said, finally making everyone split into their teams to prepare for the match to start.
Germany smirked from his new hiding place behind a tree, he had dodged three paintballs getting there and some unlucky person was within his sights, they weren’t even looking his direction. He let out a small laugh as he released his breath and fired at the little Italian, hoping he was firing at the one of the two twins he disliked.
“DAMN IT WHICH BASTARD SHOT ME?!” The Italian shouted, spinning around and waving his gun as Germany ducked behind the tree, knowing he had shot the correct Italian.
I might as well just go after my enemies, since they mostly aren’t on my team, anyway. Germany thought, donning an evil expression and planning his attack on the allies.
Germany wasn’t the only one who had this brilliant idea.
“This team sucks, aru.” China said, half-heartedly carrying his paintball gun as he followed behind America, who had a “Totally and completely heroic and epic idea that would kick everyone else’s asses!”
“This plan will work, dude it’s going to be AWESOME!” America said, not even bothering to whisper as Prussia jumped out from the bushes that red-team-minus-one was sneaking behind.
“I AM THE ONLY AWESOME--” Prussia started to say, then screamed in shock and slight pain as he fell forward, red paint covering his back. “WHAT THE HELL DAMN IT THAT HURTS!”
“Nice one, Switzerland!” America shouted to their sharpshooter, who was hidden in a near-by fort.
“This is so not awesome.” Prussia said, grabbing his gun and leaving.
“See, China? I told you it would work.” America continued walking, trying to find their next victim.
“Aiyaa…but he scares me, aru.” China muttered under his breath and glanced back at Sweden, who just stared at him in a very creepy way.
“I-is anyone else…scared to…to be in this team? Ahaha…” Finland said, unable to control his mouth. Russia terrified him almost as badly as Sweden, he didn’t have much to say about Japan, and Romano had already been shot trying to shoot Spain, for some reason.
“Be quiet, they’ll hear us.” Russia said harshly. Or at least it seemed harsh to Finland, who was still scared of Russia even though Russia was on his team. “You should go hide over by that bush so that no matter where they come from, we can shoot them, da.” Not wanting to make Russia mad at him, Finland ran over to the place he was supposed to hide, expertly tripping over his boot laces the second he got there and falling on his face.
Certain he could hear laughter coming from where his team’s hiding place was, he got up and found himself looking right into the eyes of someone wearing a red bandana.
“Gah! Please don’t shoot me, Sweden! If you don’t--”
“I’m not going to shoot you, m’ wife.” Sweden said it with that same creepy stare he always had and he held out his hand to lift Finland up. Finland took it, smiling and blushing nervously as Sweden lifted him to his feet. Just as Finland leaned forward to hug Sweden, he was shot in the shoulder with bright red paint.
“W-were you planning this?!” Finland asked, taking a step back as he looked up into Sweden’s eyes.
In response, Sweden lifted Finland’s paintball gun to where it pointed at himself and pressed Finland’s finger down on the trigger.
“No.” Sweden said as Finland let the gun slip out of his fingers and fall to the ground as Sweden kissed him.
“Dudes. Seriously. Paintball war going on here.” America said dully.
“Ah! R-right!” Finland said as Sweden took his hand and the two left.
“Back to the war, people!” America shouted, ducking behind a rather conveniently located tree as paintballs flew through the air in his general direction.
“I do not like this game, aru.” China said, pouting as he walked through the dense forest that was the playing ground for the match. “I want to be on a team with-- NNNNNYAN CAT!” He shouted as he fell over a trip wire.
“That’s Japanese.” Japan said lamely as he pointed his paintball gun at his brother.
“No, don’t shoot China!” Russia said, pushing Japan’s paintball gun away.
“I’LL SAVE YOU CHINA SINCE I’M LIKE THE HERO AND CRAP!” America shouted, running from the direction China had come from, tripping over the tripwire and landing right on top of Russia. “Uh…that did not go how I…um…planned…” America said, blushing deeply.
They all heard another shot be fired, and suddenly Russia’s chest was covered in red paint, thanks to a certain Swiss nation and his sharp shooting skillz.
Japan jumped back into his hiding place and fired his weapon at America and China as quickly as he could, and was shot by Switzerland in return.
The four of them were out.
Switzerland smiled a mean, cruel smile as he realized that blue team was now gone, and that he was the only member of red team still there. He glanced around quickly and found his next two victims.
“Germany! Germany, please don’t shoot me, I’ll do anything!” Italy begged, falling to his knees with tears rolling down his face.
“Italy, get up.” Germany sighed as he face-palmed. “I’m on your team.”
“Hooray!” Italy said, instantly cheering up as he hugged Germany.
“We still have people to find!” Germany said, shoving Italy away and possibly attracting the attention of a certain French nation.
“HONHONHON just what are you two doing?” France said, smiling his creepiest, most perverted smile. Germany had his gun aimed at the Frenchman in a heartbeat, but it jammed just as he pulled the trigger.
“Italy! Shoot him!” Germany shouted at the little Italian.
“What? I don’t want to shoot France nii-chan, ve~!” Italy said, just as two paintballs hit France, one red and one green. The red was from someone you should know by now, and if you don’t oh well, and the green one was from a certain Englishman.
“Britain, why do you have to hurt me so?” France said, turning to face him.
“You’re on another team and you’re out now so leave.” Britain replied without a care in the world.
“Fine.” France said, picking up his gun which was decorated with the designs of roses and leaving.
Three more shots were fired, and suddenly Poland was the only member of green team left, as Switzerland had shot Germany, Italy, and Britain.
Switzerland laughed a tiny bit, he was probably the one having the most fun, and he shot the most people as well. So much for being neutral. he shrugged.
“Do you know who is left?” Lithuania asked Canada, the two of them had been walking in almost complete silence the whole time and neither one of them had found anyone else.
“No…” the two continued on in silence for a bit longer before a “Like totally fab!” nation showed up.
“LITHUANIA!! Lithuania! You’re still like alive and stuff!” Poland shouted, running up and hugging him.
“P-Poland, you understand we are on different teams, right?” Lithuania sighed. Leave it to Poland…
“Yeah, but I like don’t care.” Poland said, and seconds afterward got shot.
By Canada.
Bet you didn’t see that one coming.
“Like, what was that for?!” Poland demanded.
“You aren’t on our team, so…” Canada said, his voice trailing off as he scuffed his boot.
“Fine. Lithuania! You’re coming with me!” Poland said as he fired his hot pink paintball gun at Lithuania.
“You can’t do that!” Lithuania said, looking down at his chest to see that Poland had pink paintballs, not green, his team color. Poland probably thought it was “Like fab and stuff!”
“I just like did! Come on, Lithy!” Poland said, hooking his arm through Lithuania’s and dragging him away.
That leaves just me and Switzerland. Canada thought, and he smiled. He had been counting the gun shots and screams in pain and hoped he was right.
Canada snuck around behind the building where he knew Switzerland was hiding, and, as quietly as he could, he snuck to the door. Canada then kicked the door in as hard as he could and fired inside without even aiming.
Yellow now covered Switzerland’s back.
“You won. Good game.” Switzerland said, standing from his place in the corner and high-fiving the Canadian.
A smile spread across Canada’s face as the two walked back to the locker rooms, and he had a feeling in wasn’t going to leave for the rest of the day.
The minute Canada opened the door to the locker room, Prussia pulled him into a hug, and the rest of the guys shouted and cheered, some of them happy Canada had won, some of them mad that they hadn’t won
“So,” America said, “Who wants to come over next week for video games?” at this, the room was filled with groans. Except for one person.
“What kind of video games? HONHONHON!”
Because, yes, I just had to end this one with France.
